Acquired Optimism

I recently had a discussion with a friend in which he allowed that he had read a book about acquiring, or learning Optimism.

Now, one of the reasons that this man is my friend is that I would never - at least previously - characterize him as an Optimist. I have always found him to be much smarter than that.

He went to an Ivy League school ( not the best one - I went to that one - Hah! ), has an advanced degree, and is the best at what he does in four-or-more states. He works in a human service field, and has never compromised the people he serves because of a personal belief or trait that is anything but Optimistic.

My friend shows up to work every day (a fact that, one could argue, given his line of work, is evidence of at least a modicum of Optimism) and does his job. He does it well, with skill, attention to detail, compassion and humor. Alright - the humor is at times a little dark.

I don't know if this book was a gift or if he purchased or borrowed it. I do know that it would be found in the "Self-Help" section of the bookstore. I think he gave it a serious read with all intention of "improving" himself in a given aspect.

A sort-of "Cliff Notes" piece about this book, and another (probably a re-hash of the first) by this author can be found at the following link:

http://pos-psych.com/news/doug-turner/2007011536

There are numerous other links at this site, possibly including information on how to acquire the author's books. The site itself is called something like "Positive Psychology News Daily" - I don't know, but I think it may have ties to a cult or something. Prophets and profiteers have been pushing "The Power of Positive Thinking" since the beginning of time (Witness the existence of Amway, Mary Kay, the Branch Davidians, etc.).

At any rate, peruse the above link at your own risk. If you are going to get caught up in its content and chase down its every link, you need not return to this blog to finish reading this piece. I will be unable to help you.

After reading this book, my friend came away with a few points.

The book listed and scored various characters through history as to their degree of Optimism or Pessimism, then noted how things worked out for these individuals.

My friend related that Optimists, when compared to The Others, were more successful (however one would choose to measure that), made more money, had bigger houses, more beautiful spouses, etc. . They also were healthier, had fewer infections, less cancer and lived longer. Quite a bit of benefits to this Positive Thinking thing.

And what possible benefits befall the Pessimist you might ask?

As it turns out, the Pessimists were right more often.

While this may not seem like a whole boat load of benefit when compared to the Utopian life to which the Optimists are obligated, there are those to whom being right is very important. My friend, it would seem, is just such a person. It is an element of his personality. And, bless him, he is not arrogant about it. On the contrary, a gentler or more humble person you will not find. But he is right allot.

My friend, I believe, did not think he benefited much from this read. He did not think that he learned or acquired optimism, but I think he's OK with that. Perhaps he would find the conscious and premeditated act of changing his thought processes - so that he would be wrong more often - counter intuitive.

We are all the victims or beneficiaries (I suppose the Optimists would say "the beneficiaries or victims", reversing the order, or leave it at "the beneficiaries".) of our heredity and our experience, our genetic makeup and our environment. I will be the first to acknowledge that there will be those that disagree with this theory about the interaction between gene and experience. These people are called "Optimists".

My point is that there are different sorts of people in this world, and some of their views and methods of life are ingrained in them from the get-go. The difference between, for example, the average citizen and a fighter pilot is that when faced with a seemingly dire situation - say being in an aircraft in a steep dive at high speed, 10 seconds before impact with the ground - is that the average citizen is going to say something like "Oh my God! We're going to die!", while the fighter pilot would say "I still have 10 seconds to work on this problem."

These two types of people have a fundamentally different take on life.

But who, in this scenario, is the Optimist? And who is right?

Another friend (Yes, I have more than one!) points out the paradox in the relationship between being a Cynic and being a Pessimist. On the face of it, both are considered "Negative People". But they are not one-in-the-same.

The Cynic - the Negative Person - is the one pointing out what is wrong in a given situation, with a given policy, approach, etc.. Many find such people to be distasteful, and feel that they should just knock off the bad attitude, or simply just shut up. Far better to be a Positive Person, to accept things as they are, and realize that things are not going to change. "Don't worry - be happy!". Positive People also believe that being Positive is a choice one makes, while Negative People do not feel the opportunity to choose at all - another difference between these types.

The Positive Person vs. the Negative Person (the Cynic) - who, then, is the Optimist? The one who believes that things cannot change, so be happy about it? Sounds Pessimistic to me.

Or perhaps the true Optimist is the Cynic, who takes the time and the effort -at some peril of infection, cancer, shorter life, or passover for promotion -to point out that which is wrong, in the belief that things can be made better.

As for myself, I am not sure I can buy into this thing about relentless positive thinking being entirely a matter of choice. And even if it were, I am not sure that I would always choose it.

There is some value in being prepared for a less-than-optimal outcome - avoiding physical or psychic hurt, avoiding disappointment, etc., but in the statistically less-likely scenario where things turn out better than I had predicted, I am more than willing to be happy that I was wrong - just so long as it doesn't happen too often.

"I cannot prevent the rain. But I can carry the best umbrella."

- Author Unknown (at least to me)

And the best umbrellas, the Brigg brand, made by hand to this day in London, always seem to be black, don't they?

And finally, yet another friend provided me some years back with another quotation, author again unknown to me:

"A Cynic is nothing more than a disappointed Idealist."

I agree. And for that I will never apologize.

Peace